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I Proudly Give My Nineth and Final |
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by Chip Foxx February 5, 2012 |
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Ladies and Gentlemen, I am finally ready to give my whole-hearted support to Governor Mitt Romney for President of the United States of America in 2012. And this time, I mean it. Now I know I've said that before. I admit to getting Gingrich Fever after the South Carolina primary. Then I heard about his plan for a moon base, like that chick that doesn't reveal she's crazy 'til the third date. And, yes, I endorsed Rick Santorum after his virtual tie in Iowa. But then I Googled his name, and you wouldn't believe what came up. For an hour and a half in December I had endorsed Ron Paul, but then I realized he might actually do half the shit he talks about, and it scared the Hell out of me. Before that I had endorsed Herman Cain, but then he got a little handsy backstage at a fundraiser. He seemed like a solid bet, particularly after Michele Bachmann, who thought she could make up any fact she wanted, any time she wanted. Her confidence and articulation were encouraging, though, espcially after I'd endorsed Rick Perry, who couldn't even remember his lies. Perry seemed like a more practical endorsement, considering I'd wasted |
my support on Pawlenty and Christie, even after they'd made it clear they weren't running. At least they were politicians. My first 2012 endorsement was for Trump, who was riding high at the time, until Obama stuffed him with a long-form birth certificate and bin Laden kill in the same week. Oh, well. In my defense, I never endorsed Huntsman. What matters is Mitt Romney, the candidate I'm throwing my full-fledged support behind now. I know it's not fun. But just think about how much we hate Obama, regardless of how irrational that hatred is. If we focus that hatred properly, hopefully we can make it look like support for Mitt Romney, and trick a majority of Americans into voting for him in November. God Bless.  |
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